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Such a good point, and just reiterating what you said… When we tell kids that they can do anything they want, and they then run into obstacles in the world, they think it must be their fault. Basically, we need to normalize that there are obstacles, and that some of those obstacles give us information about what we’re not good at, and what we truly can’t do. Sort of like getting a do not enter sign in One Direction, and getting a greenlight in another direction.

Great conversation

Especially when the parent is a master manipulator This is why we need to teach school children to identify manipulators

Yes my ex was still angry from his 1st divorce so he strategized from day one .

Children learn what they live.

The 1st generation of children of alienation are now the parents of alienation ..

We all know everyone is so quick to pathologize people these days, but if there is any truth to the discipline in psychology it would be “Parental Alienation” IS narcissism incarnate.

This problem is very much there in modern eastern countries like India, South Korea and Japan. I can testify about it cause I am an Indian who is in high school and am facing this situation.

Books, courses and videos like these help tremendously.

All so called disorders are actually people just trying to survive having human needs not attended to, such as safety, and belonging.

If you are just trying to survive being criticized, condemned or picked apart every day just because you exist, isn't dissociating a survival strategy at its most fundamental. To attack another's self concept until they barely want to remain on earth is a horrendous thing to do to another human being. This is why Jesus warned against judging others. He was spot on.

As a software developer for internet shops, my employer once accused me of being "internet addicted". I find the term terrible. Sure, if you just click on funny memes on facebook for 40 hours a week, I get that. But without people focusing for more than 40 hours a week on their interests, we would probably not have any olympia winners, we wouldnt have the tour de france, we would not have astronauts and CEO's. Do all these people pay a hefty price for their activities? maybe. I spent over 40 hours on the internet since the mid 90s, as a teenager. What did it do to me? I learned 4 professions, I learned about math, physics, cooking, met my wife online, and learned how to be a better husband, and how to work with childhood trauma. I find this term "internet addiction" somewhat troublesome, even though i understand your example, that reading books for 40 hours falls under the same terms. Anyway, I find your podcast great, and a very important topic you picket up on here. I had to quit social media over all the stress and anxiety it was causing in me recently, and also now refuse any anxiety causing news program and similar. I found this to be an extreme source of stress in my life. Again, thanks for your podcast!

Wtf abortion ban is hurting people.?? What about the defenseless baby in womb.??

22:11 Facing this dilemma right now!! And I’ve ALWAYS thought, felt AND proclaimed that …#3 video games 🎮 was and/or would be detrimental. My husband refused to listen to me and sure enough as the day is long his 32 year old son has returned to our nest 🪹 and my feathers are surely ruffled!😫

Clear explanation ❤

I get rage attacks over nothing if i miss a few doses of paxil. Really scary and makes me worry if ill ever be able to come off them.

Thank you 🙏 Can you please as well explain the approach for the 12-13 old please?

Intellectualizing my over-eating, pure avoidance.. now what FEEL THE FEELINGS (slow down,hmmmm)

I have recovered from protracted withdrawal after 6 years, you can check my story in my bio :)

Biases don't just come from trauma. They mainly come from the overall context, I.e. parents, culture, society, "education", media, religion, etc. The context is the overwhelming source of bias, as we're not born with it. In fact, we're born with little to no bias, because it's a biological disadvantage (bias for something could lead to blindly approaching danger and bias against could lead to missed benefit).

I hate psychiatrists

Thank you 🙏🏽

How do you help a child do homework with conduct disorder ADHD high school level how do you get them to do homework when they refuse to do it my grandson at this point his mom wants to send them to Boot Camp. I don’t think that’s the correct solution.

Great discussion about DMDD. Thank you so much!

Thank you so much for your podcast!

There has been a joke I’ve heard that people work all week so they can get trashed over the weekend.

Thank you!

The other guy should not be allowed to come out.

ANTIDEPRESSANTS DESTROY YOUR BRAIN. BUT THATS THEIR PURPOSE. 😢 I ENDED UP IN HOSPITAL WINGING OFF 2 OF THEM THE WAY THEY TOLD ME. 😢 TOOK ME OVER A YEAR TO GET OVER IT!

As someone who has REALLY BAD adhd, it really doesn’t do anything. 20mg is enough to basically get me to sit down and be able to read questions for homework and not skip 3/4 of the page or catch myself day dreaming. It also gives a SMALL sense of happiness. But I get that same feeling after a great workout. But the overall best feeling is that of being in CONTROL of my own mind!!!!! FINALLY to have control of my thoughts

This seems like this type of marriage is also beneficial if something later happens to dad or mom that incapacitates them, there is a backup plan. If I’m understanding this correctly.

Do you have something new on mental breakdown recovery?

I have adhd and was only diagnosed recently. I have realized i have an addictive personality for specifically downers. Like THC and alcohol. When it comes to adderall i can go many days without noticing them, but i have also noticed a decrease in my cravings toward alcohol and thc while notining an increase in habitual smoking of tobacco. The nicotine and caffiene habit is only increased during times that i need to work and focus, but if im havign a lazy day and took adderall at the beginnjng of the day, i smoke less thc and alcohol cravings are almost completely gone and my nicotine cravings would go down to almost having nothing. On annaverage day i smoke 3-5 cigarettes a day. When i have adderall and have work to do, it goes up to 8. When i have adderall and my day is pretty boring i tend to have only 1-2 cigarettes a day. I have found that the only reason i smoke when work needs to be done is because the action of smoking helps me concentrate, meaning i can smoke herbal cigarettes for the same effectiveness of smoking tobacco, as its just used as a small break without breaking my sense of focus on the task at hand. Meaning my nicotine addiction is actually lessened when i have adderall but the act of smoking is relaxing to me, which causes me to smoke more. Since i started rolling herbal smokes, i started to motice an overall decrease in my nicotine use and even when i dont have adderall it has affected how much i smoke. Adderall has been good for me, and has helped me regulate my habits without the stress. Im also less angry because my thoughts are more organized and i can get upset for 1 reason without going into a rabbit hole of a million reasons to be angry. meaning i can calm myself down and think rationally. Adderall is helping me both when i have it and when i dont.

Have you read The Power Threat Meaning Framework? Niche book.

Survivor's Guilt is a real thing, and tough to understand.

This is so evil. I'm just understanding now why all 3 of my kids have been hostile towards me and now want nothing to do with me. They're downright disrespectful and I hear my ex-husband's words coming out of their mouths. I'm finding out now he's been lying to them about me and telling them things that happened before they were ever born. He's done despicable things to me they've seen and sided with him. I never said things about him or the things he did but he's so narcissistic that he used them to hurt me. He even convinced my son it was my fault he did drugs. As if I have control over a person using drugs. My son is convinced it's my fault his poor dad had some right to my home when he was absent for almost 4 years with no contact with his kids and saying he's getting married again. How is he blaming me for not allowing his dad back into my home? He's using my son as a sounding board. My son is 24 and argues with everything I say and now has abusive tendencies. I have lost hope and now feel I have to protect myself from my own kids. Otherwise, it causes me so much depression I can't function. I'm truly heartbroken by this. Once they're adults it's too late. Now I wish I would have kept them from him. But that's something I never thought was right to do to a child.

My mother in law is 89 and we now realise that she always had ADHD and since she was started on antidepressants her motivation is so low she takes many hours to get up in the morning and can’t stay on task. The combination of adhd, aging and the drugs is bad.

❤❤❤

Looking at morbidity and mortality of World Trade Center responders after 20 years gives some insight into long term stress related illness and conditions. Many of us have been diagnosed with PTSD, among other things. Providing a conceptual understanding of the diagnostic criteria of PTSD and given tools to manage the stress, such as mindfullness based stress reduction is a wonderful adjunct to other therapeutic modalities.

thank you for this !

I wish i could send this to my parents because they wouldve realized alot instead of the stigma,

This is what happens with social anxiety. CBT labels it with limited research (survivorship bias and researcher bias) done on people who responded for research but who did not have social anxiety that came to research in mid 1990s and then offers solutions that does not work for the socially anxious. And the labels and names that were not covered in really socially anxious remain hidden - like Complex Trauma and socioeconomic issues and shame culture ambient - external triggers. What happens is due to toxic shame and inner critic - which is not seen or observed by CBT - becomes problem when CBT starts to label social anxiety as lack of social skills for example. What happens next - is that people with true social anxiety will suffer with identifying themselves as someone who lacks social skills - and then toxic shame and inner critic will basically torment socially anxious people as abnormal - and then socially anxious people will become socially weird and awkward - due to labels. While ironically true socially anxious people are extremely empathic and hence have high levels of superior social skills which neurotypical people do not have at all.

This is what no one is willing to say out loud. As a parent of an ODD teen, my family has been held prisoner for the past 14 1/2 years and we are counting down to age 18 when our cell door will be opened and we will be set free. How sad and heartbreaking 💔 to feel that way. We should be talking about prom and graduation but instead we are talking about hiding the car keys and long term placement. 😞 There is no help, no advice, no therapy, doctor's, meds, NOTHING that actually helps. Meds might tone down the screaming but the behaviors don't actually stop. There is no punishment, consequence or anything. You just have to survive until they are 18.

Oh, that's such an important topic! Thank you very much for discussing it.

Lots of great suggestions, cheers guys 🌿🐛🦋

I love the idea of seeing things as rhythms. I also have been thinking of what I need to declutter out of my home, life, schedule, etc.

Fascinating and useful talk, thank you for this!

Idk if I have adhd or not but ima need these dudes to GET TF TO THE POINT! Gah damn! I had to speed this sht tf up! Pass me the Adderall atp lord hammercy 🤦🏽‍♀️

Heal the person heal the world now sounds over-simplified.

Cluster B...is simply an over constructed analysis of the 'bastard' in society or our sphere of interactional experience. This is the 'reason' treatment mostly does'nt have a lot of 'success' . By the way .. the younger gent ticks most of the Cluster B boxes ! The Irony.